5 Ways to Reframe Expectations Around the Holidays

Preparing Your Family for the Holidays This Year

With Halloween right around the corner and the holidays getting closer, it’s common for you and your family to start getting really excited for the upcoming festivities. But with the country still experiencing the Coronavirus pandemic and these holiday considerations from the CDC, the merry memories that the younger members of your family created may look a lot different this year.

Not being able to give kids the holidays you are accustomed to may feel disappointing, but this can also be a great opportunity to strengthen family openness and communication through mindful parenting and activities. Keep these five tips handy to help you stay present and focused through this holiday season and into the new year.

1. Set Realistic Expectations

The pandemic has turned the schedules and routines of most families upside down this year, so it’s normal to not want to break the news that the holidays may also be different. But rather than putting the conversation off or trying to sugarcoat reality, it may be helpful for your family to discuss what they can expect during Halloween, Thanksgiving, and December holidays.

Whether certain events have already been canceled or if you’re still undecided about hosting or traveling to see loved ones, discussing expectations can help your children process and accept what’s happening. Rather than worrying or stressing about the future, setting expectations can also help you be a present parent.

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2. Encourage Open Communication

With so much outside of our control, the changes that have come as a result of COVID-19 are not only frustrating for adults, but also for the kids in our lives. Rather than just telling children what’s happening as it’s happening, encourage open family conversation about what the holidays are going to mean for you this year.

It makes a difference for kids when they can be heard and understood, and times of big change and uncertainty may leave them wanting to talk things out. Taking the time to be present and sit down with them for open-minded, present conversation when they ask for it can help everyone stay on the same page and feel included.

3. Bring Awareness to Your Emotions As a Family

Along with openly discussing plans and expectations, it’s also important to leave room for any feelings that may come up for you and your family. Feelings of disappointment, sadness, anger and other emotions need to be acknowledged so you can all process and accept whatever changes are heading your way for the holidays.

Participating in a family mindfulness meditation or meditation for parents can be helpful for spending time together, checking in with yourselves, and strengthening your mind-body connection. Whether you’ve got 10 minutes or 45, taking the time to bring awareness to your emotions and any tension you’re holding onto can be an easy and helpful mindfulness practice for everyone.

4. Leave Time for Unstructured Recharging

The holidays are always full of planning, organizing, list-making, shopping, and general busyness, but having to also remember restrictions and safety guidelines amid the festivities can bring stress factors to the next level. In between making sure everyone in the family is on time and celebrating safely, make sure you’re also leaving some unstructured time for recharging.

Whether it’s play time or taking a spontaneous walk and mindfully connecting with your surroundings as a family, unstructured time gives everyone a chance to breathe, relax, and enjoy the blessings of the holiday season.

5. Be Patient – With Yourself and Others

Even though we’re about to enter the happiest and most celebrated time of the year, it can also bring out heightened emotions in both adults and children. Differing opinions about the pandemic, the political climate, and other current events can raise tensions, but preparing yourself for whatever dinner discussion may arise by practicing compassionate responses can help you stay level-headed.

Approaching different perspectives with open-mindedness can also help you navigate the emotions and reactions of kids as they continue to process and accept all of the change happening around them. Remember that they aren’t perfect and neither are you – so practicing patience and forgiveness for yourself and others is going to go a long way in staying balanced and keeping spirits up.

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Celebrating the Holidays Mindfully

It may seem a little strange to be planning for the holidays amid a pandemic, but it’s possible to hold onto the joy and gratitude this season while also preparing yourself and your family for the reality of the next few months. Practicing compassion, awareness, and other mindfulness skills on a daily basis can change the way you react and respond to the stressors in your life, now and all year long.

Written by Becky Greiner